I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
