Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
