i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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