If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Randomize