I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
