There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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