remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
