i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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