he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
