return my video game
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
