I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
