I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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