yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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