Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
