some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
