he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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