shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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