I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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