More tranny stories later!
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
