Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
if only i could text you this smell
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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