After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
