Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
