Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
