youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
ttyl tear gas
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
