So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
