he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just want nice things and good sex
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize