Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
