btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
