He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Who died my cat blue again?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
