There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
