quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
