I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
