Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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