It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
