she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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