guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize