Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
