I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
