I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
