Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
