your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
