I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
