At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He kissed a someone with a penis
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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