What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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