After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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