I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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