yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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