Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
