Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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