First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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