This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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