hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
