She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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