Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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