It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
