How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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