I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
