i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
