hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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