I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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