just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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