Don't make out with my wife yet
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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