We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
