god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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