on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
