You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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