508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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