I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Pants are for mortals
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
