he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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